Article by psychologist He Thien, posted on China’s Kaishujiangshi parenting forum.
The moment I saw my mother-in-law snatching my son’s toy, I was really angry.
The boy seemed inspired and confidently ran over and took the toy back from his sister.
Many children are scolded by adults for being selfish and petty when they do not give their toys to their brothers and friends.
Awareness of rights is more important than face and other people’s attitudes
When I was a child, I was deeply hurt by the notion of `Sharing` and `Saving face`.
My mother’s children and friends came to the house to play. Whether I wanted it or not, my mother always gave my toys to them.
Giving someone else property that should be mine makes me extremely uncomfortable.
I always remember what my high school psychology teacher said: `If you don’t dare to refuse another person’s request, even if that request is beyond your ability to bear, the most basic reason is that you haven’t found it yet.`
This is a typical `pleasant` personality.
Let children learn how to `self-defense`
Gene Disay, a psychology professor at the University of Chicago, once said that children are selfish by nature.
A few years ago, there was a case that caused a stir in Chinese public opinion.
Father Vuong was embarrassed and helpless and told his son, `He’s a child, what’s the point?`
There is a saying like this: `When you are at your weakest, bad people appear the most. If you do not know how to protect your rights, you will have to bear the consequences.`
A word often mentioned in British primary schools: `Assertiveness`.
Parents’ protection of children’s rights is necessary for children to feel more confident.
Refusing to be `robbed` begins with the courageous protection of parents
A mother in the UK once shared her personal experience on a forum for parents.
Seeing the situation, the mother did not persuade her son to `learn to share` but firmly said: `You can say no to your friends. Just say no and nothing else.`
This mother said that if you force your son to share, you are forcing him to sacrifice. `Allowing children to be selfish allows the ‘I’ inside them to gain more strength and become a solid support for themselves. Because if they continue to
Child education expert Janet Lansbury once stated this opinion in the book `Boundaries, Freedom`: `Children need boundaries. It’s like driving across a bridge in the dark. If there are no railings on both
`Teaching children to protect their rights is the best gift parents can give them when they grow up,` concludes Janet Lansbury.